"Hey, this is Morgana! I'm probably really busy doing super important stuff right now. But don't worry! Leave me a message and I'll get back to you before you can miss me too much. So look forward to it!"
[O-oh..... it looks like Aiden finally made up his mind, huh? He really does trust them with somethin like this.....
He doesn't usually use text, but he will for Aiden; just typing something like this is probably hard enough, let alone trying to say it out loud and in video.]
Thanks for telling me. When do you want to do this?
[ He will be already opening the door by the time Morgana starts to scratch~ Namely because he decided to wait outside the door for the not-a-cat. ]
Hey.
[ There's a wave and a nod. Morgana might notice there's a... forced kind of empty expression, right now. Like he's doing an "impressive" job of just shoving everything down. He moves so Morgana has more than enough room to come inside, and then heads over to make a fresh cup of tea. ]
[Morgana falters a little, confused and concerned; that blank look is..... worrying. Somehow, in the face of that look, asking how Aiden is doing feels like it would almost be insulting--he's obviously not doing fine, and asking would just be inviting Aiden to lie to his face, since he doesn't look to be in the mood to spill his guts. He opts for the less blatantly awkward route instead.]
[ Ah... He senses the confusion and concern, and it has his brow tensing. He's that obvious, huh...?
He's not surprised. He's never had to put this much effort into playing the role of "fine" before. ]
... I trust you - all of you. And I know I agreed...
[ ... but...
Tensely, he's just going to take a sip of his tea, his gaze averted. After that, he releases a sigh. ]
When you guys got back, I told Kurama there was no way I was letting you guys in there. And that was after I nearly attacked Masayoshi. Akira had to... stop me. At the time, all I could think was it's better that I'm alone. I know I'm just going to wind up hurting one of you, again--
[Morgana's ears only splay to the sides in deeper confusion; nobody has actually bothered to keep him in the loop about this particular stream of drama. Aiden had nearly attacked Shido, and had already hurt one of them before? Who? When? How? Why? Aiden isn't the kind of guy who would just randomly attack someone for no reason..... right?
He offers the only sentiment he can that isn't muddled and uncertain right now.]
It would hurt if you isolated yourself too, you know.....
... Yeah. Kurama... was pretty insistent. He actually hugged me, and tried to reassure me that he cares...
[ Aiden's brow tenses. ]
I'm not used to anyone caring. From the time I was six, I've kind of just... been alone.
[ Oh... ]
... That school... After being trapped there, briefly, for a second time... they pretty much forced my memories back. I haven't been eager to talk much about it, since my memories being forced on repeat was... bad enough.
[ But... ]
Anyway, being isolated is what I'm used to. It's having people affected by it, that I'm not.
[He doesn't actually know him all that well, but..... well, Akira loves him. That's proof enough, right? He trusts Akira's judgment on just about everything. Sighing, Morgana pads over to climb into Aiden's lap.]
I'm pretty sure he speaks for all of us on this, too. You don't have to talk about what you've been through or what you've remembered if you don't want to. Nobody wants to force you to relive that sort of thing.
But you don't have to be alone anymore, either. We do want you here, you know? We care, even if nobody else did back home; you're on a whole different world right now. I'm pretty sure we're all willing to take that risk and fight to keep you with us.
[He has literally no idea what the fuck he's talking about right now. None of you have told him anything. (Shame on you~) This is all a mixture of guesswork, assumptions, reassurance, and a healthy dose of shounen spirit.]
[ ... This is cute, honestly. Aiden studies Morgana for a moment, and then reaches to lightly scratch him under the chin. ]
It's still strange to hear words like that, but... thanks.
[ And, after a hesitant pause... ]
Not... long before I got sent back to the school, I... [ letting his hand drop ] lost control.
I need to consume blood on a somewhat regular basis, because... of what I am. I haven't been human since I was six, you see... [ lips drawing together tightly ] Minato happened to cut himself, and I thought- I was fine, as far as the need for blood went. I wasn't feeling any differently than normal. So, it... hit out of nowhere.
[ His jawline tenses. ]
... As for Shido, I-...
[ One hand presses to the back of his neck. ]
I was stupid... I let- my emotions get the better of me, and there was no excuse there. Plain and simple, Akira saved him.
[ Yeah, no, he's holding information back, now. This is definitely the one time he's lying, because he's not even looking at Morgana, now. ]
[Morgana closes his eyes and purrs while the scratching lasts, ears flicked forward attentively. They open again once Aiden's hand drops, though; that's clearly the cue that they're moving into difficult territory.
Consume blood, huh..... so he's a vampire, or something like it? Aren't they supposed to like..... burst into flames in the sunlight or something? He's definitely seen Aiden out and about during the day. He's definitely not undead, either. So..... vampire-like, at least in terms of diet, but not a real one. That's..... probably troublesome for him, but fine? You can't really help what you need to eat to live.
The Shido thing, though..... that's so blatantly obviously either not the truth, or not the whole truth, that Aiden might as well be wearing a flashing neon sign around his neck. There's no explanation, no context, no details--Aiden's not even looking at him anymore.
Even if he can't see it, Aiden can probably feel the flat, unimpressed look fixed on him; the Judgmental Cat Stare is turned on full blast. The unspoken "Yeah, sure. And? What else?" might as well be a blunt demand, for an empath.]
It's not-... [ important... ] ... He didn't deserve it, at all.
[ Augh, okay, he's going to... release a tense breath and shake his head. ]
Apparently... overuse of magic weighs on me, mentally. I didn't know it would do that, so I wound up going too far in the forest. By the time I got back, I wasn't feeling like myself... And, while I was in the forest, I suddenly felt like something terrible had happened.
So, I listened to instinct, and I contacted Masayoshi, Goro, Kurama, and Akira. Nobody would tell me anything, so I wound up getting-... angry at being stuck where I was. One of them even told me he wasn't sure if everything was okay.
Then-... after everyone was back, Masayoshi said something that reminded me of the night that he- went off on me. That, combined with everything else, I... lashed out. I wanted to push him away, because all I could think was it would have been less painful to have never cared, at all--!
[ He's deflating a little. The guilt is finally settling properly onto his expression. ]
But, it's not an excuse. I shouldn't have overdone it with the magic, and I should know better than to let myself lose control like that. Masayoshi was sorry, and I tried to hit him anyway...!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
07/17 (8/8 OOCly) | UN: aiden
Date: 2018-08-09 02:30 am (UTC)... types it again... deletes it again... types it again, before, finally: ]
My name is Zaen Aeryn Ayala.
no subject
Date: 2018-08-09 02:35 am (UTC)He doesn't usually use text, but he will for Aiden; just typing something like this is probably hard enough, let alone trying to say it out loud and in video.]
Thanks for telling me. When do you want to do this?
no subject
Date: 2018-08-09 03:22 am (UTC)For now... can we talk in person?
no subject
Date: 2018-08-09 03:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-08-09 03:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-08-09 04:09 am (UTC)[And after a bit, he can probably hear someone scratching at the door.]
no subject
Date: 2018-08-09 04:31 am (UTC)Hey.
[ There's a wave and a nod. Morgana might notice there's a... forced kind of empty expression, right now. Like he's doing an "impressive" job of just shoving everything down. He moves so Morgana has more than enough room to come inside, and then heads over to make a fresh cup of tea. ]
How are you doing?
no subject
Date: 2018-08-09 05:21 am (UTC)[Morgana falters a little, confused and concerned; that blank look is..... worrying. Somehow, in the face of that look, asking how Aiden is doing feels like it would almost be insulting--he's obviously not doing fine, and asking would just be inviting Aiden to lie to his face, since he doesn't look to be in the mood to spill his guts. He opts for the less blatantly awkward route instead.]
What's up?
no subject
Date: 2018-08-09 06:42 am (UTC)He's not surprised. He's never had to put this much effort into playing the role of "fine" before. ]
... I trust you - all of you. And I know I agreed...
[ ... but...
Tensely, he's just going to take a sip of his tea, his gaze averted. After that, he releases a sigh. ]
When you guys got back, I told Kurama there was no way I was letting you guys in there. And that was after I nearly attacked Masayoshi. Akira had to... stop me. At the time, all I could think was it's better that I'm alone. I know I'm just going to wind up hurting one of you, again--
[ ... Ah. Morgana doesn't... know...
He actually winces a little. ]
no subject
Date: 2018-08-09 07:02 am (UTC)He offers the only sentiment he can that isn't muddled and uncertain right now.]
It would hurt if you isolated yourself too, you know.....
no subject
Date: 2018-08-09 07:41 am (UTC)... Yeah. Kurama... was pretty insistent. He actually hugged me, and tried to reassure me that he cares...
[ Aiden's brow tenses. ]
I'm not used to anyone caring. From the time I was six, I've kind of just... been alone.
[ Oh... ]
... That school... After being trapped there, briefly, for a second time... they pretty much forced my memories back. I haven't been eager to talk much about it, since my memories being forced on repeat was... bad enough.
[ But... ]
Anyway, being isolated is what I'm used to. It's having people affected by it, that I'm not.
no subject
Date: 2018-08-09 10:17 am (UTC)[He doesn't actually know him all that well, but..... well, Akira loves him. That's proof enough, right? He trusts Akira's judgment on just about everything. Sighing, Morgana pads over to climb into Aiden's lap.]
I'm pretty sure he speaks for all of us on this, too. You don't have to talk about what you've been through or what you've remembered if you don't want to. Nobody wants to force you to relive that sort of thing.
But you don't have to be alone anymore, either. We do want you here, you know? We care, even if nobody else did back home; you're on a whole different world right now. I'm pretty sure we're all willing to take that risk and fight to keep you with us.
[He has literally no idea what the fuck he's talking about right now. None of you have told him anything. (Shame on you~) This is all a mixture of guesswork, assumptions, reassurance, and a healthy dose of shounen spirit.]
no subject
Date: 2018-08-09 11:47 am (UTC)It's still strange to hear words like that, but... thanks.
[ And, after a hesitant pause... ]
Not... long before I got sent back to the school, I... [ letting his hand drop ] lost control.
I need to consume blood on a somewhat regular basis, because... of what I am. I haven't been human since I was six, you see... [ lips drawing together tightly ] Minato happened to cut himself, and I thought- I was fine, as far as the need for blood went. I wasn't feeling any differently than normal. So, it... hit out of nowhere.
[ His jawline tenses. ]
... As for Shido, I-...
[ One hand presses to the back of his neck. ]
I was stupid... I let- my emotions get the better of me, and there was no excuse there. Plain and simple, Akira saved him.
[ Yeah, no, he's holding information back, now. This is definitely the one time he's lying, because he's not even looking at Morgana, now. ]
no subject
Date: 2018-08-10 03:43 am (UTC)Consume blood, huh..... so he's a vampire, or something like it? Aren't they supposed to like..... burst into flames in the sunlight or something? He's definitely seen Aiden out and about during the day. He's definitely not undead, either. So..... vampire-like, at least in terms of diet, but not a real one. That's..... probably troublesome for him, but fine? You can't really help what you need to eat to live.
The Shido thing, though..... that's so blatantly obviously either not the truth, or not the whole truth, that Aiden might as well be wearing a flashing neon sign around his neck. There's no explanation, no context, no details--Aiden's not even looking at him anymore.
Even if he can't see it, Aiden can probably feel the flat, unimpressed look fixed on him; the Judgmental Cat Stare is turned on full blast. The unspoken "Yeah, sure. And? What else?" might as well be a blunt demand, for an empath.]
no subject
Date: 2018-08-10 04:19 am (UTC)[ Augh, okay, he's going to... release a tense breath and shake his head. ]
Apparently... overuse of magic weighs on me, mentally. I didn't know it would do that, so I wound up going too far in the forest. By the time I got back, I wasn't feeling like myself... And, while I was in the forest, I suddenly felt like something terrible had happened.
So, I listened to instinct, and I contacted Masayoshi, Goro, Kurama, and Akira. Nobody would tell me anything, so I wound up getting-... angry at being stuck where I was. One of them even told me he wasn't sure if everything was okay.
Then-... after everyone was back, Masayoshi said something that reminded me of the night that he- went off on me. That, combined with everything else, I... lashed out. I wanted to push him away, because all I could think was it would have been less painful to have never cared, at all--!
[ He's deflating a little. The guilt is finally settling properly onto his expression. ]
But, it's not an excuse. I shouldn't have overdone it with the magic, and I should know better than to let myself lose control like that. Masayoshi was sorry, and I tried to hit him anyway...!